His hand in our life

I love these pictures of angels protecting us and our angel ancestors blessing us.
I can't see them but I feel them near and I love them.

These are my angel ancestors who brought the gospel into my family tree. Those are my great great grandparents
sitting down. I don't know the names of those two missionaries but I am thankful for them and their service
they gave to my family in 1911.

So Sunday my lesson was about keeping a journal and we watched a talk by President Eyring. He said that one night when he was coming home from work he saw his father in law out working in the yard and he thought how loving his father in law was, how he didn't have to do those repairs, he could let someone else do it but he did it because he loved them. Then as President Eyring went inside he heard a voice in his mind saying,"Write these things down." From then on he wrote something in his journal every single day. He said he particularly wrote about seeing the Lord's hand in his life everyday. The Lord is there. We just need to look for Him and recognize his hand in our life and write it down. Not only can you look back and be uplifted but so can your children and others. It is a way to record your testimony and share it with others just like the scriptures.

For this lesson I came into the class with all of my blog books. I talked about how I started blogging when my mom died and I have printed out a book for every year since then. Blogs were new back then and I found it easier to do this way of journaling our life. I like including pictures. Pictures say a lot. I think I also just wanted to record my thoughts and feelings and memories of my mother in a permanent way. My kids love to look at these blog books. They get them out and look through them at least once a week. I wish I had them for even more years back. I do want to try to do more than just record what's going on though. I want to follow President Eyring's example and share more of how we can see His hand in our life and I'd like to make one about the years before I started blogging. I kept journals but didn't write in them a lot.

So over the years I have had many struggles with getting the kids the resources they need to be successful in school. There have been lots of testing and assessments and diagnosis etc. I work hard to advocate for my children. Cory and I did very well in school growing up. I did not understand why our kids had such a hard time until we discovered things like autism spectrum disorders and learning disabilities they have. I have tried many interventions and therapies and diets etc trying to help them and not much helped. I often wondered what had I done wrong that did this to my kids. I think a lot of parents feel this way even though it's not their fault. A little over a year ago I learned about QEEG testing for ADHD and had the boys tested and they were all diagnosed (without the H or the H being their minds) and we started them on adderall to help. I have avoided this for so many years because I had heard all of these horrible things and I knew people that had hyper kids and they just complained to their doctors and got their kids on this to calm them down. My kids are very low key. I didn't really understand how it works and I was scared of medicating my kids and it didn't seem very scientific how it was prescribed based on a questionnaire. However, as they got older it was obvious that they needed help and it was just getting worse. Aiden can't even focus well enough to drive safely. He has his license but rarely drives because he doesn't even trust himself and it makes him very anxious. He can't think about multiple things at a time which driving requires a lot of, esp with the bad drivers in Utah. The times he has driven he has had some very close calls running lights and stuff. He is ok in the neighborhood but that's about it. School was not the only issue anymore. He also really struggles with thinking for himself and solving problems. If it's something he has not faced before he tends to get really upset and shut down instead of staying calm and figuring out a solution. Tristan has a lot of impulse control issues and major sleep and tiredness issues. Avery is in his head most of the time and misses most of what's going on around him and such a visual learner that he really can't learn anything verbally. He requires a lot of special ed at school. So in the spring of 2016 the boys all started taking adderall and it helped them a lot. It is not without it's side effects. I mostly notice they are a bit more grumpy when they take it or mostly when it wears off. Their heart rates have been fine and blood pressure. At first they would feel thirsty but that went away. It decreases appetite a bit but my boys never have much of an appetite anyway. I am always after them to eat more. Aiden has gotten pretty good at eating regularly but not Avery and Tristan. The doctor is really after Tristan to gain weight. He is so below weight. We buy expensive nutrition protein shakes for him to drink. It seems he only likes chips, soda, popcorn, yogurt and eggs and not even much of those things. Most of my friends have the opposite problem, their kids are always hungry. When we were in Idaho, Katherine thought it was so funny how I have to encourage my kids to eat. She said she has literally never told her kids to eat. lol She and her family are so nice to us and really like the kids for who they are. I am thankful for friends like that. We don't get invites from other families much.

This year we had Cory and the boys tested for Myotonic Dystrophy and they all have it and it turns out it is the cause of all of their issues and they have more issues than we realized. Aiden's AV block in his heart is minimal now so we will just watch it. They all had sleep studies done and it turns out the boys all have apnea. It actually makes sense. I never thought to seek out a sleep study before but I am hopeful that the CPAP and pulmonologist can help in this area. The boys have always had sleep issues. Tristan sleeps way too much but has a hard time sleeping through the night. I have caught him up in the middle of the night so many times and then he is sleepy all day but he's always sleepy in the day even if he sleeps at night. He and Cory take synthroid but it doesn't help the tiredness much. That's because it's not caused by their thyroid. Tiredness is a big problem with most people with Myotonic Dystrophy. Avery and Aiden have a hard time falling asleep. They lay there for hours every night before they fall asleep and then they are all so hard to wake up in the mornings and tired during the day but not to the point of falling asleep. Alarms don't work. I have to personally get them up and threaten to spray them with water. lol I tried melatonin on Avery last year but it made him groggy all day the next day. He has a really hard time in winter when days get short. Cory also has a hard time staying awake during the day. So the boys take adderall and it helps but they take a very low dose because the higher the dose the more irritable they get. The doctor prescribed modafinil for Cory and it works better but the insurance refuses to cover it. Now Aiden is old enough to take the modafinil too. But I found out that Costco gets it from a lab in India and sells it for $35 instead of the $270 all the other pharmacies charge! What a miracle and blessing for us. I don't think it's a coincidence that I found that out just days before Aiden started college. I was so worried that the adderall wasn't effective enough and it wears off after eight hours or less. Modafinil lasts 12-15 hrs. Aiden can now handle his long school days and Cory can now come home and be a father and husband instead of just sleeping a ton. I know the Lord is blessing us. I am so thankful. We have had so many medical expenses that we just could not get it before and now we can. I will still appeal to insurance though. I should be paying a $7 copay.

I had a hysterectomy in July and things have gone so well. I am so grateful. I love my new doctor! I had a feeling before we left England that we would have a lot of medical stuff to take care of once we got home. I just didn't realize the extent of it. I am glad Lidia is doing well!

I have been wanting to get a couch for the basement and our neighbor is giving us hers because they are getting a new one. I am grateful.

We cleaned out the garage and gave away the chickens and I sold the coop and supplies and some things we don't use anymore. I have gotten coupons and gift cards in the mail  from various stores which helps with home repairs and back to school shopping and I am thankful. I found out that one dr overcharged us $60 and they are sending it to us and that the solar company owes us $100 for a referral. Cory's much deserved award at work was for $3000. Taxes will take 40% so we won't see a lot of it until we file next year but I am so thankful. It is hard to pay tithing when finances are so tight but I can see everyday, the hand of the Lord in our life, helping us along the way. Am I thankful that my husband and sons have this genetic disorder that affects every aspect of their life? No. Did I know there were problems before this diagnosis? Absolutely. Am I thankful for answers? Yes! Am I thankful for treatments for some of these issues? Yes. I am so thankful for all those who work to discover these disorders and figure out how they work and what we can do to treat and one day reverse them. I am so glad to have knowledge and doctors near that understand this. It also helps me have more compassion for my kids and not get so frustrated when they can't do things that would seem normal for a kid their age. I am so thankful for Aiden's sweet teacher last year and all she did including telling us about Vocational Rehabilitation. I had never heard of this program. I didn't know they helped disabled people get and education and a career. They are paying Aiden's tuition and books and if he needs it they will pay for tutoring. If Aiden gets C's or better, they will pay next semester too and so on. It's nice that there is something there for kids who are not eligible for all of the scholarships you hear about other kids getting. As a parent of children with special needs, it can be hard watching schools focus and go on about all of these programs and awards that your children will never be a part of. I really hope that Aiden enjoys and succeeds in college. I know that my boys are precious wonderful children of God and that He is watching over them as well as our angel ancestors. It can still be hard helping them to navigate this world that isn't really set up for them. In some ways they are too sweet and pure in heart and I love and cherish them for it and will do all I can to help them have a happy and successful life.

We all have struggles in life that help refine us. I keep watching the news about the flooding in Houston. I want it to end and for all of them to be ok. The recovery there will be long and hard. My heart goes out to them. My sister was flooded twice and it has impacted their life for a long time. They were blessed with people around them to help them. Luckily it wasn't the entire city flooded back then like it is in Houston, TX. I love seeing them all help each other. It's so great. It's what bonds us together as humans. It's nice to see so much goodness on the news instead of all the political hate by some people. I know many people don't like the president but they don't really even know him. Why can't we all say, what can I do to help and contribute? instead of stirring anger and hate. I am so sick of all the hate. Just love one another people! That's how you improve things. Stop complaining and looking for bad. If you look for the bad you will find it. If you look for the good you will find it too, even in a character like Trump.

Lidia is doing well and they had a surprise party for one of the elders in their district.
They gave him presents of things the elders left in their apartment before she and her companion moved in. lol
They have been focusing a lot on serving others.

His first class was institute.

Aiden's first day of college! I like Weber. I had to drive him on his first day.
He will be taking the bus usually. 

Aiden got a free new backpack from school.

Elder Killpack on the left was born in Dothan! His mom and all her family are from Ozark.
Small world! Lauren goes to school in Dothan with his cousin Cameron. lol
These elders are super sweet. The one on the right is from Tennessee but doesn't have
an accent like me! lol 

I made Mississippi Mud brownies for my Sunday School class.
They remind me of my childhood. I didn't have them often.
Our school served them with lunch once in a while.

Oliver loves the dogs and playing outside.

I like these quotes a friend posted.

My stack of blog books. Awesome. Grows every year.